Giggles in the dark
by Poppy1
Summary: An extremely silly story.


Disclaimer-None of these characters are mine(pity)  
  
I'd also like to apologising to Mithua for mentioning the "L" word!  
Voices in The Dark  
  
(Deep and dramatic American sounding voice, like the ones that warn you to beware of illegal video cassettes) Moria. The weary fellowship rest, knowing not if it is night or day, only that they crave sleep to ease their weariness. All is black and all is silent...  
  
-I'm bored.  
  
-What?  
  
-I'm bored, Merry.  
  
(A pause)  
  
-We've battled with insane black riders, feasted with elves, witnessed an emotional goodbye between one hobbit and his donkey, and now we are stumbling blindly through a sinister black cave facing the prospect of almost certain death! How can you possibly be bored?!  
  
-Well...well I'm bored just the same... How about a game?  
  
- Pippin!  
  
-What?! You're no fun any more Merry! Frodo, you're up for it aren't you?  
  
-Whatyasayin?  
  
- Congratulations, Pip, you've just woken our ailing ring bearer!  
  
-Oh shut up! Sam, you fancy a game?  
  
-(Groans)Of what...exactly...?  
  
-Erm...i spy...?  
  
-I spy with my little eye something beginning with B-A.  
  
-I knew you' join in, Merry! B-A...erm...got any ideas, Sam?  
  
-Nope.  
  
-Alright...give up. What was it?  
  
-Bugger All! It's pitch black, you idiot! Now go to sleep!  
  
-No! Wait! How about Truth or dare?  
  
-Truth or what?  
  
-Truth or Dare. We played it at Petunia Proudfoot's 35th, remember, Frodo?  
  
-Yeah, I remember! Ok, why not! Let's have a game...Merry? Sam? You in?  
  
-I suppose so...but erm...how do you play?  
  
-We all sit in a circle and go round it asking each other questions or setting challenges for each other.  
  
-Hmm...alright then. Sam?  
  
-I'm in.  
  
-What's that? Truth or Dare?  
  
-Who's that?  
  
-It's Gandalf!  
  
-Good old Ganders! You want to join in too?  
  
-Don't mind if I do actually! Haven't played that since the last Wizarding Council Christmas party!  
  
-Is that everybody?  
  
-Dunno. What about Boromir?  
  
-What about me?  
  
-You fancy a game of Truth or Dare?  
  
-Ooh, is that a bit like consequences?  
  
-No, not really.  
  
-I'm in then!  
  
-Me too! Can I play?  
  
-And me!  
  
-Sure! Everyone can play!  
  
-That just leaves Aragorn. Shall I wake him?  
  
-Nah, don't bother. He's fast asleep.  
  
-Right ho! I'll start! Hmmm....who will i pick...erm..  
  
-Hurry up!  
  
-Shhh!!!  
  
-Sam! I challenge you to take a hearty sniff of Gimlis boot.  
  
-Oh but Sir...  
  
-Just think, Sam! If you achieve it unflinchingly and with dignity, you will be the toast of Elrond for centuries to come!  
  
-Whats wrong with my boots, eh?  
  
-Nothing at all, my old friend! You're boots are delightfull! And now, Master Samwise, your challenge...  
  
-Bloody hell, he's doing it!  
  
-Eugh!!!  
  
-Sam...Sam are you alright?  
  
-Sam?  
  
-He'll be fine. Just let him overcome the shock.  
  
-What shock?  
  
-Oh hello, Aragorn! Sam has just been the first creature to sniff Gimlis boot and live!  
  
-Wow that's some achievement!  
  
-I'd say! But I don't think he's fit to take his turn now!  
  
-Let Gimli take it for him then.  
  
-Hmm...Boromir.What is the thing you want most at this very moment?  
  
-Well that's easy! A pipe full of weed! I haven't had a good one since before I went to Elrond!  
  
-Mmmm...I could do with some too!  
  
-You know...I think I've got some! Right here in my pack!  
  
-I never thought I'd say this merry, but. I think I love you.  
  
-Too bloody right! We love you Merry!  
  
-Hey I don't think there'll be enough for you all!  
  
-Well why don't we just share it. One puff every time you complete the challenge or answer a question.  
  
-Oh.ok then. Gandalf would you light this for me?  
  
- With pleasure, my dear Hobbit!  
  
*Sparks fly*  
  
-And I think it's me to have the first puff.  
  
-Well he seems to have recovered.  
  
-Here you go, Sam. Just one draw mind!  
  
-(Takes giant deep breath)....jumping oliphaunts!  
  
-Is he alright?  
  
-Who cares? I need my puff now!  
  
-Here. Take it.  
  
-(Takes huge puff).....bloody hell! What is this stuff Merry?  
  
-I dunno.guy in the pub was selling it cheap. Thought I'd give it a go.  
  
-It's bloody lethal! Here I want another-  
  
-Hey just one! I haven't had any yet.  
  
-Well that's 'cause you haven't done anything!  
  
-So set me a challenge!  
  
-Fine! Erm.I dare you to run up and down the tunnel 10 times.  
  
-But it'll be all gone by then!  
  
-No dare no weed.  
  
-Yeah, and if you don't do the dare, you have to take off a piece of clothing!  
  
-Eww gross!  
  
-Well you'd better piss off and do it then!  
  
*Pippin sighs and begins jogging*  
  
-Right that's gotten rid of him! Gandalf I dare you to stand on your head for 30 seconds.  
  
- Easy! I was an excellent gymnast in my younger days!  
  
-Well get on with it then!  
  
-Saurons' thumbs! He's managed it!  
  
-That's nothing! Look I can do one handed as well-  
  
* Crash*  
  
-Oh dear! That looked painfull!  
  
-And he only managed it for 12 seconds!  
  
-Yip! Which means you failed! Get your kit off Ganders!  
  
- Oh dear! Must I really! I'm only wearing my robe...  
  
-Sorry Gandalf, that's the rules!  
  
- Ah well...good thing I put on my cleanest Y-fronts this morning!  
  
-Good thing we can't see a ruddy thing, that's all I'm saying!  
  
-Do I still get some weed? You good fellows wouldn't deprive an old man of his pipe would you?  
  
-Yeah, go on-let him have his puff!  
  
-Thankyou Legolas! Extra lembas for you tomorrow!  
  
-Owch!  
  
-What was that?  
  
-It's Pip! He's fallen over Sam!  
  
-Bugger! I was on my ninth lap!  
  
-Sorry Pippin! That's you failed your dare.  
  
-But.awww come on!  
  
-Sorry Took boy! No weed for you.  
  
-You.you.  
  
-And you have to take a piece of clothing off too!  
  
-Well there's my boot.  
  
-Owch! Hey you little.  
  
-STOP IT!  
  
-Yeah! Boromir, stop strangling Pippin, and Pip, apologise to Boromir for throwing your boot at him!  
  
-Hmmph! Sorrry.  
  
-You will be.  
  
-Well it's my turn now so.Gimli!  
  
-I'm listening!  
  
-Gimli, who, in this room do you find most like to.erm.  
  
-You mean.?  
  
-Yip!  
  
-Well.well I.  
  
-Tell us, or it's no weed for you!  
  
-Oh.  
  
-Yes?? Come on!!  
  
-Legolas.  
  
-What was that?  
  
-Legolas!  
  
-Ooh Gimli.  
  
(Will Pippin get his share of weed? Will Gandalf be able to keep his best Y- fronts on? Or will they all just get stoned and fall asleep? Find out next time, in another exciting episode, of "What a load of Rubbish!") 


End file.
